Royal Holiday Baby Page 11

  “You okay?” he asked, lifting his fingers to touch her hair. The tenderness in the gesture gave her hope. She nodded.

  He stroked her hair and she closed her eyes, her emotions pulling her in a dozen different directions. Although she was physically satisfied, her heart felt heavy. She felt shockingly vulnerable.

  Taking a deep breath, she felt as if she needed to get herself back together, to cover up her emotional nakedness. She opened her eyes, but didn’t look at him. “I should probably go,” she said and started to get up.

  Zach squeezed her hand. “No,” he said in a dark, urgent voice. “Stay.”

  Tina did stay in Zach’s bedroom, sleeping every night with him for the next two weeks. Every night she hoped for some kind of breakthrough and saw signs of it in the little things. His arm curling around her body and pulling her against him before they fell asleep. His laughter when she was too sleepy to open her eyes early in the morning. The way he stroked her hair every night and brushed a secret kiss on the top of her head.

  She hoped it meant that he was beginning to feel something for her, because heaven help her, she was feeling something for Zach she’d never dreamed.

  “Picnic,” she told him through sleep-heavy eyes as he was getting ready to leave one morning.

  “Picnic?” he echoed.

  She nodded, struggling to open her droopy eyes. “I want you to take me for a picnic to your favorite place.”

  He paused a half-beat. “Okay. Next week.”

  “Today or tomorrow,” she corrected.

  “I have things scheduled,” he said.

  “Schedule me,” she said, lifting up on her forearms.

  He met her gaze and his lips lifted in a crooked half-grin. “Is that a royal decree?”

  “Would that help?” she asked.

  He chuckled. “Not necessary. Tomorrow. My workers will mock me for taking so much time out in the middle of the day.”

  “And you’ll tell them I’m worth it,” she said, brushing her hair from her face.

  He stepped to the side of the bed and slid his fingers through the back of her hair and gave her a hard kiss. “Damn, you make me want to climb back in bed with you. Have a good day and stay out of trouble.”

  During the day when Zach was gone, Tina feared she would be bored out of her mind. That day, she approached Hildie, begging for a distraction. “Please let me help. I need to do something, or I’ll go crazy.”

  “You need to rest,” Hildie said. “You’re pregnant and—”

  “Oh, rubbish,” Tina said, irritated. “Pregnant women have been productive for ages. I can’t just sit here like a hen on an egg.”

  Hildie twisted her mouth as if she were trying not to smile. “Maybe you should order some books on child rearing.”

  “Maybe I should take skydiving lessons,” Tina countered.

  Hildie twitched but lifted her chin. “I won’t fall for your threats again. I learned my lesson the first time when you nearly got me fired.”

  “Oh, you wouldn’t have been fired,” Tina said. “And I took care of it in case Zach lost his mind and did something impulsive.”

  Hildie froze. “Took care of what?”

  Tina realized she’d slipped and shrugged. “It was nothing. Heavens, can you please give me something to do? I need to feel productive.”

  “You could always muck out a stall,” Hildie’s niece Eve said dryly as she cruised into the kitchen.

  Tina tossed the young woman an amused grin. “You almost tempt me. How are the darlings?” she asked, speaking of Zach’s horses.

  “Good,” she said. “The colt still needs a little extra work, but that’s going to be tough to do with me gone most of the time. The price of corporate success,” she said and made a face as she pushed a glass into the door of the refrigerator to get some water.

  “Are you saying you wish you could be doing something different?” Tina asked.

  “Of course not,” Hildie said. “Eve works for a big company that pays her a big salary with nice benefits.”

  Eve lifted an eyebrow at Tina. “Of course. What Hildie said.”

  “I would think there would be lots of ranchers who would need your kind of expertise,” Tina ventured.

  Eve shrugged. “Probably, but matching my current pay would be nearly impossible.”

  Tina tucked that fact into her mind for future contemplation. After all, since she was gestating, she had plenty of time to think.

  “We have the charity drive for the children’s wing at the hospital coming up in a few weeks, though, so that will keep all of us busy. We do a little carnival for children and donate the money we make to the hospital,” Eve said, taking a long drink from her glass.

  “Charity drive?” Tina echoed.

  Hildie scowled at Eve. “You need to be careful what you say in front of her.”

  Tina frowned. “Why? I’m not a child.” She narrowed her eyes. “Has Zachary told you to shield me from what’s going on in the community? If so, he and I will definitely have a discussion.”

  “He didn’t use the word shield,” Hildie said.

  Tina began to stew. “I’ll just bet he didn’t. And did he threaten your job? Because if he did, Zachary and I made a deal about your job. As long as I stay at the ranch until one month after the baby is born, he can’t fire you. Period. Not that he would have in the first place,” she added.

  Hildie blinked at her. “You made a deal for me?”

  “Of course I did,” Tina said. “I practically forced you to drive me to Dallas.”

  Hildie met her gaze and her eyes grew shiny with unshed tears. “I don’t know what to say. Zachary has always been good to me, but you don’t know me that well and you stood up for me anyway.”

  Tina was flattered. Hildie wasn’t one to give faint praise. “It was nothing,” she said. “Now can someone fill me in on the details of this charity event? After all, charity events are my specialty.”

  Eve exchanged a look with Hildie. “Can you imagine how much people would pay to have lunch with a princess?”

  “Children?” Hildie asked.

  Eve shook her head. “Adults. Think about it. You’re digging weeds next to your neighbor’s fence and casually mention, ‘I had lunch with a princess last weekend.’”

  Hildie grimaced. “Zachary will kill us.”

  “Maybe,” Eve said. “But he can’t fire you.”

  Excitement raced through Tina. Now, she had a project, a purpose.

  The following day, however, she had a totally different purpose. As Zachary drove his truck to the spot for the picnic, she experimented with how she would ask him the questions that had been burning inside her. It was long past time for them to discuss some very important issues, and she hoped with every inch of her that he would be both receptive and responsive. If she’d believed in crossed fingers and toes, she would be doing both.

  Zachary pulled to a stop next to a weeping willow tree and a small pond. There was a small stand of grass and some bluebonnets stubbornly showing their gorgeous blossoms on the edge of the idyllic mound.

  “It’s beautiful,” she said.

  He nodded. “I stole away to this place when I was a kid as much as I could in the summertime.”

  “I can see why. Shade, water and grass. What more could a young boy want?”

  “A swing,” he said. “I would swing on that tree and go flying into the pond. Sometimes all three of us, my brother, sister and I, would play hooky on a hot day and come here.”

  “Good times,” she said, watching his eyes light with happy memories. “Maybe they can come back sometime soon.”

  His happiness seemed to fade. “Maybe,” he said and grabbed the picnic basket and blanket. “Let’s eat.”

  Zach spread out the blanket and Tina unloaded the picnic basket, quelling her nerves about how he might respond to her. Hildie had prepared delicious club sandwiches, fruit and cookies for their mini feast.

  “Hildie’s an excellent cook,” Tina sa
id.

  Zach nodded as he ate his sandwich. “She’s worked for my family for a long time.”

  “You don’t know how lucky you are. At the palace, each person receives one assignment.” She shot him a dry smile. “Except for the royals. We do everything.”

  “Do you still like taking a break?” he asked. “I want you to feel like you can take a break.”

  “I can only do that for a while before I get, well, bored. I need to feel productive,” she said.

  He set down his sandwich. “Does that mean you want to return to your country?” he asked.

  His stark expression took her off guard. “No,” she said quickly. “As much as I love my country and people, I think it’s time for some of my other family members to contribute. In the meantime, though, I need to be productive wherever I am. Here,” she said, meeting his gaze.

  He nodded thoughtfully. “I can understand that. We’ll just need to coordinate it with avoiding the paparazzi. I don’t want you to have to deal with that hassle.”

  “You’ve been quite successful,” she said. “Perhaps the palace could take lessons from you.”

  He chuckled. “Amazing what a couple of cowboys with shotguns can do.”

  She nodded, her mind still heavy with the subject that continuously hovered in her mind. “There is something I’ve wanted to ask you about.”

  “Ask,” he said and took another bite of his sandwich.

  She took a sip of water to dampen her suddenly dry mouth then took a calming breath. “I know you were married and that you lost your wife and baby. I’m so sorry for all you’ve suffered. I’m so sorry for your loss.”

  His face closed up and his eyes turned hard. “I don’t discuss that,” he said. “With anyone.”

  Chapter Eleven

  Disappointed by Zach’s abrupt response, Tina stared into his closed gaze. She had hoped that their physical intimacy had mirrored a growing emotional intimacy. “I just want you to feel like you can talk with me about it. After all, I’m having your child and—”

  Zach shook his head. “I’m not going to talk about it. If you want to push the conversation, we may as well leave. But I had something else I wanted to discuss with you and I think both of us would like that subject much better,” he said.

  She could tell by the set of his jaw that she wasn’t going to get anywhere talking about his wife and child. The knowledge frustrated her, but she didn’t want to ruin their afternoon. That didn’t stop her from hoping he would open up to her some other time.

  “Okay,” she relented. “What did you want to discuss?”

  His gaze relaxed slightly. “In a little bit. Let’s enjoy the lunch, first.”

  “That was a tease,” she said, her curiosity piqued.

  “How do you like it here?” he asked.

  “It’s taking some getting used to,” she said. “The isolation can be both good and bad. It’s nice going out and not feeling like I’m being watched by everyone and my photograph isn’t being taken every other second. I still find it amazing that you’ve been able to keep the paparazzi away.”

  “I’m not obligated to allow anyone to see you,” he pointed out. “My job is to protect you. As far as the palace PR is concerned, they can take a royal leap.”

  She chuckled, imagining the response of the advisers and her brother. She couldn’t deny, however, how refreshing it was to have someone so protective of her. Although the palace security force had always been quite protective, they were sworn to protect the monarchy. Zach wasn’t sworn to protect anyone. He just did it.

  “Do you think this is a good place to raise a child?” he asked.

  She nodded slowly. “Yes, for the most part. As much as I have felt suffocated by my duties during the last several years, I would, however, like my child to be familiar with my country and family. I think the sense of history from both the mother and father is important.”

  “So you would want to visit Chantaine?” he said.

  “I’m still figuring it out, but yes, I think so. If my brother allows it,” she added.

  “Allows it?” he echoed in displeasure. “How in hell could he disallow it? You’re a princess. What could he do to you?”

  “He’s the ruling monarch. He could strip me of my title if he wanted,” she said. “Stefan is very angry and although I know he loves and respects me, he doesn’t understand my actions. He doesn’t understand how I could turn my back on my duties.”

  “What about your own choices? Your own life?” he asked.

  She smiled. “You sound like an American. Lots of choices. Not as many when you’re born into royalty.”

  “Are you afraid of having your title taken away?”

  “I’m not so concerned about the title, but the idea of losing all connection with my family hurts me,” she said. “But I have to focus on my child’s future. As grateful as I am for all the opportunities I’ve had, I don’t want my child growing up in an environment where obligation is primary. I hope my child will learn to appreciate the rewards of service and I’ll do what I can to make that happen. But I do want my child to have more choices.”

  He leaned toward her and took her hands in his. “You don’t need to be afraid. I would always take care of you whether you have a title or not.”

  The expression of dedication on his face turned her heart to butter. “Thank you. That means a lot. When I realized I was pregnant, though, I knew the person I most needed to rely on was myself.”

  He shook his head. “But you know you don’t need to do this alone.”

  “I know,” she said.

  “That’s part of what I wanted to discuss with you,” he said. “We’ve touched on the subject before, but I think it’s time to take the next step.” He reached into his pocket and pulled out a jeweler’s box.

  Tina gaped at Zach as a sense of unreality fell over her. He opened the jeweler’s box to reveal a beautiful diamond ring.

  “I’ll always be true to you. I’ll always take care of you and our child. Through thick and thin, bad and good, I know how to stick with it. I can’t think of any greater gift you and I can give our child than to be married, to be husband and wife. Marry me, Tina.”

  Her heart stopped, along with her breath. “You mentioned this before, but…” She stared at the diamond ring and searched his face. Tina had received proposals before. Two, in fact, but she’d known beyond a shadow of a doubt that she couldn’t accept them. The very idea of binding herself to either of those men forever had made her physically ill.

  Zach, however, was a totally different man. Her feelings for him were totally different. She slept with him every night and she was carrying his child.

  “I don’t know what to say,” she said. “I didn’t expect this. Not today.”

  “You’re growing,” he said and slid his hand over her belly. “Our baby is growing. You and I know we want each other and we want what’s right for our child. Marriages have been built on much more shaky ground than that. It’s the right thing to do.”

  His last sentence turned Tina cold inside. She’d spent her life doing what she was told because it was the right thing to do. The first time she hadn’t done the right thing, she’d experienced passion beyond her imagination. She’s also gotten pregnant. If anything, she was more determined than ever not to make such a huge decision simply because it was the right thing to do.

  She shook her head. “I can’t,” she finally managed.

  Zach looked at her in surprise. “Why?”

  She sighed. “There’s got to be more. I need for us to be—” She broke off, feeling self-conscious and vulnerable.

  “Be what?” he demanded. “We’re lovers. We’re committed.”

  “We may be lovers,” she said. “But we’re not in love.”

  He pulled back and a cynical expression crossed his face. “Even though you’re a princess, I never would have tagged you as a woman who believed in fairy tales.”

  She frowned at him. “Who says love is a fairy t
ale? There are plenty of people who find love,” she said. “Look at Keely and Brent.”

  “That’s rare,” he said. “And just because they feel in love now, doesn’t mean it will last.”

  “You sound so jaded,” she said. “I wouldn’t have expected that of you.”

  “It’s not jaded. It’s just practical,” he said. “If you base decisions on emotion, you’ll end up in a big mess.”

  “If that’s true, then what about that first night we shared together? Do you consider that we’re in a big mess?”

  “I wouldn’t call it a big mess, but it’s not optimal.”

  She frowned, studying him, trying to figure out where his attitude originated. “Is this about your own marriage? Was your relationship a disappointment? Or did you love her so much you can’t love again?”

  His eyes turned cold again. “I told you I don’t discuss my marriage with anyone. We may as well go back to the house.”

  Her stomach twisting in knots, Tina refused to let him see how upset she was. “I agree,” she said.

  Zach went into Dallas to work the next day. He needed a break from the princess in his ranch. He successfully plunged himself into work until his brother took him out to a bar.

  The loud strains of a country rock band played in the background as Zach drank his second Jack and Coke.

  Daniel clicked his double shot of bourbon against Zach’s glass. “To success,” he said. “All our businesses are doing great.”

  “Yeah,” Zach said. “To success. Thanks for staying on top of the in-town biz. I owe you.”

  “I’ll let you pay me back over time. How are things with the princess?”

  “She’s okay,” Zach said. He took another swig of his drink. “Just making things difficult. I asked her to marry me.”

  Daniel swiveled on his bar stool and stared at Zach. “And?”

  “You know she’s pregnant. It’s the right thing,” Zach said.

  “I guess she said no,” Daniel said.

  “Pretty much,” Zach said. “She wants to rehash everything that happened with Jenny and the baby.”