The Secretary and the Millionaire Page 13

  “Have you made a wish?”

  Lilly nodded again. “I wish we could find Miss Annabelle, but if we can’t, I wish Delilah could stay in my room again tonight.”

  Amanda smiled down at her. “I think Delilah would love to spend the night in your room tonight.” The thought struck her that taking Delilah with her when she left would be one more loss for Lilly. Her protective instincts warred with her attachment to her pet. Delilah had been hers since she’d moved to Minneapolis. Still, Amanda would have to be careful when she left that she didn’t undo all of Lilly’s healing. She sighed and pushed back another emotional hurt.

  “As long as it’s okay with your daddy, Delilah can sleep in your room every night.”

  Lilly’s eyes grew round. “Really?” She looked down at Delilah, purring contentedly in her arms, then looked back at Amanda. “Wow! The star worked. I already got one of my wishes.”

  Amanda hugged her. “Sometimes it’s just fun to make wishes.”

  “Like playing the favorites game?” Lilly asked.

  “Exactly.”

  “Then where’s your star? And what’s your wish?”

  Amanda felt a bittersweet pang. She couldn’t remember the last time she’d wished on a star and really meant it. Seeing life through Lilly’s eyes had been such a gift. She would miss it terribly. She glanced up at the sky and located the star she’d wished on as a child. “There it is.”

  “What’s your wish?” Lilly asked.

  “I wish that someone would fall crazy in love with me,” she said, and felt her cheeks heat at the truth of her wish. “And I wish Lilly would go to sleep now and dream wonderful dreams,” she said quickly.

  “Me, too,” Jack said from the doorway.

  Amanda felt her cheeks blaze even more at his presence. She hoped he hadn’t heard her first wish.

  “Hi, Daddy,” Lilly said, wiggling to get under the covers. “I get to keep Delilah with me tonight. I’ve been on lots of adventures today.”

  Still in his suit, Jack walked into the room and smiled at her. “I went to Mommy’s grave and put flowers on it,” Lilly told him.

  Amanda watched his jaw tighten. “You did?” he asked in a too-controlled voice, and gave Amanda a hard, questioning glance.

  “Yes, and then I ate lunch with Nana and she let me pick flowers, and then I came home and swam and lost Miss Annabelle and picked out a lucky star.”

  “You’ve had a busy day.”

  Lilly nodded and lifted her arms to give him a hug. “You should pick out a lucky star, too.”

  “Tomorrow night,” Jack said. “It’s past your bedtime. Good night, princess.”

  Amanda dropped a kiss on her cheek and turned off the light. She followed Jack out the door.

  “I thought I told you I didn’t want her focusing on Sandra,” Jack said as soon as they walked a few steps from Lilly’s room.

  His voice was so cold it chilled her. “I told you I intended to take her.”

  “And I told you I didn’t want her there.”

  “Did you want to take her?” she asked, trying but failing to keep the frustration from her tone.

  Surprise glinted in his eyes, then he narrowed his gaze. “She’s only three. She doesn’t need to be in a graveyard.”

  “She asked to go.”

  “I don’t want you taking her there again. Sandra was a selfish, lying, mean-spinted woman.”

  “There must have been something good about her,” Amanda countered. “You married her.”

  Jack looked as if she’d hit him. “She was pregnant with my child at the time.” His jaw worked in frustration. “Do not take her to the cemetery again.”

  Amanda shook her head. “I can’t promise that. It’s not in Lilly’s best interest.”

  “Amanda, this is not a negotiation.”

  Amanda had the sense that they were arguing about far more than a visit to Sandra’s grave. She had the oddest feeling that she was fighting for something more important for Lilly, for Jack, maybe even herself.

  “Then you might have to fire me,” she said quietly.

  Jack stared at her in shocked silence.

  Amanda felt herself begin to tremble from the inside out, but she stiffened her spine. Even if he hated her for it, she had to tell him the truth. “Jack, what Sandra did to you was terrible. She shouldn’t have lied and taken advantage of you. She shouldn’t have kept you from your child. She shouldn’t have treated your heart so callously. It grieves me that she did these things to you.” It hurt her to remember how much pain Jack had endured and tried to hide.

  She took a deep breath. “But Sandra is gone now. She can’t hurt you anymore. If you don’t forgive her, then you’re hurting Lilly and yourself. If you don’t forgive her, then I’m not sure you’ll ever be able to love anyone again. In that case, who wins?”

  His face tightened with anger. “You’ve gone too far. This is none of your business. You don’t know what you’re talking about,” he said, then turned his back on her and walked away.

  Amanda walked to her room and collapsed on the bed. Her body still trembled. The cold fury on Jack’s face cut her to the core. She knew she had offended him. At the same time, she knew she’d had to tell Jack the truth. It had taken every bit of her courage, and she feared it had cost her any chance she might have had with him.

  Over the next few days it became apparent that Jack would not forgive her for confronting him. He didn’t invite her to his bed, nor did he come to hers. There were no more flowers or strawberries or calls from work. In the evenings he was distantly polite to her, excusing himself to his study as soon as helped tuck in Lilly.

  Although she’d known she was taking a terrible risk by defying him, his cold politeness was almost more than she could bear. Despite all her efforts to the contrary, deep in her heart of hearts, Amanda had secretly hoped Jack might come to love her. Every carefully neutral word he now uttered to her twisted the knife inside her a little more.

  She was going to have to leave soon. Lilly would be able to handle it, she thought. The three-year-old wouldn’t like it, but she was tough like her dad, and she would survive well. Delilah, Amanda thought wryly, would help soften the blow. One day during Lilly’s nap, she called a reputable nanny-finder service.

  Amanda had enjoyed her time with Lilly, but now, every minute was like gold. She drank in the sound of her wonderful childish laughter and squeals, cherished her cookie-and-purple-fruit-punch kisses, and stored the memories in her heart and mind.

  After dinner and a dog-paddling lesson in the pool, she read Lilly her favorite books, then saw Jack at the bedroom door. Sensing he wanted to tell Lilly good-night by himself, she excused herself, but lingered in the doorway. She wasn’t storing up memories just of Lilly. She was also storing last memories of the man she loved.

  “Hi, Daddy,” Lilly said.

  “Hi, princess,” Jack said. “Did you like swimming?”

  “I’m still dog-paddling. ’Manda says she wants me to be water safe.”

  Jack nodded. “I do, too.”

  Amanda tensed as she saw him glance at Lilly’s bedside table. She’d left out Sandra’s picture and Lilly’s special memory book.

  “What’s this?” he asked, picking up the book.

  “It’s my mem‘ry book of Mommy,” she said. “I like it better than visiting the cemetery. I draw pictures of Mommy and tell ’Manda stories about her, and she writes them down for me,” she said, then gave a little-girl shrug. “It makes me feel better. ‘Manda says Mommy will always be in my heart. ’Manda knows cuz her mommy died, too.”

  A long silence followed, and Amanda’s heart twisted as she watched Lilly and Jack. Her eyes burned with unshed tears. She closed her eyes and prayed that Jack wouldn’t turn away from Lilly now.

  Slowly opening her eyes, she saw him flip through the pages of the memory book and sigh. He reached out to touch her cheek. “I can tell you a story about your mommy,” he said.

  Lilly lit up like a Chris
tmas tree. “You can?”

  He nodded. “When you were getting ready to be born, there was a snowstorm. Your mommy knew you were going to come out, so we had to go to the hospital so the doctor could help.”

  “Doctors like to help babies come out, don’t they?” Lilly asked.

  Jack chuckled. “Yes, they do. They like to get paid for it, too. On the way to the hospital we got stuck in the snow, and your mommy was afraid you were going to be born in the car.”

  Amanda listened carefully to his voice, but she heard no anger or bitterness. He continued to tell Lilly the story, a story precious to each child, of how they came into the world, and how excited Mommy and Daddy were. It was the most generous thing she’d ever known Jack to do.

  She knew it wasn’t easy for him, and she loved him for it. Tears streamed down her cheeks. Jack and Lilly were going to be okay. She could see it; she could feel it in her heart. They would be okay, but she wasn’t so sure Amanda would be.

  Jack didn’t come to her that night, and he maintained his polite distance the next day. Knowing she couldn’t stand it much longer, Amanda made plans to give Jack her notice the following week. Without revealing that it was her birthday, she asked Jack if she could have Saturday off. He declined, saying his parents were holding a gathering at their house and they’d requested her presence.

  Amanda didn’t argue because she had always celebrated her birthday quietly. Her tradition usually included lunch with a friend and a phone call with her brother and sisters.

  On Saturday morning Lilly ran into her bedroom and bounced up and down on Amanda’s bed.

  “Good morning!” Lilly said, and kissed her.

  Amanda’s heart caught, and she smiled. “Good morning to you. You woke up happy.”

  Lilly nodded and giggled. “Uh-huh.”

  “Are you excited about going to Nana’s today?”

  Lilly nodded again and clamped her hand over her mouth.

  Amused and confused by her attitude, Amanda tugged at Lilly’s hand. “What’s up with you, princess?”

  Lilly clamped her other hand over her mouth and shook her head.

  Jack poked his head in the open doorway and lifted an eyebrow. “Would you like to watch some cartoons this morning, Lilly?”

  “Yes,” Lilly said, darting out of Amanda’s room.

  Amanda tentatively met Jack’s gaze. “She’s in a good mood.”

  “She is,” he agreed. “How are you this morning?”

  “Fine,” Amanda said, trying to read his mood. “And you?”

  “Hopeful,” he said, his gaze quietly intent. “I’m fixing Belgian waffles. Join us?”

  She stared at him in surprise. “Belgian waffles?” she repeated.

  He nodded. “With strawberries.”

  A thousand questions raced through her mind. He didn’t look angry or indifferent or the least bit cold. She felt the return of butterflies to her stomach. Dressed casually in jeans and an unbuttoned shirt, he looked at her with almost a tender hunger. Or maybe he just wanted breakfast, she thought, reining in her imagination.

  “That sounds nice,” she finally said. “I didn’t know you could cook.”

  “Ah,” he said with a slight, sexy grin. “Something you didn’t know about me. Maybe you should stick around and see if there’s anything else you don’t know,” he said, and headed down the hall.

  Amanda stared after him in complete confusion. Big change, she thought of Jack. She narrowed her eyes. He couldn’t know this was her birthday. He’d never noticed it before. Scratching her head, she eliminated that possibility and shrugged. She didn’t know what had brought about the change.

  For today, maybe she should simply enjoy it. It wasn’t as if he was going to declare his love for her. He was just fixing waffles.

  Breakfast was delicious. Jack was attentive. Lilly couldn’t sit still in her seat and kept clamping her hand over her mouth. Jack encouraged her to watch more cartoons.

  After breakfast, Amanda tried to call her brother and sisters, but none were at home. She pushed aside her twinge of disappointment and took a bath and helped Lilly get ready for the gathering at Jack’s parents’ house. After they pulled to a stop at the end of the Fortunes’ drive, Marie greeted them while they were still in the car.

  “Welcome. Welcome. It’s so good to see you,” Marie said. “Lilly, sweetheart, come and give your nana a hug.”

  Lilly practically leaped out of the car and skipped alongside Marie.

  “I can’t remember seeing her this squirmy,” Amanda said.

  Jack gave a half grin. “She’s excited,” he said, and decided to take advantage of a few moments alone with Amanda. In the past forty-eight hours, he’d faced several hard truths about himself, and Amanda was at the center of most of them. He took her hand. “Sometimes an apology isn’t enough. I’ve been trying to find the right words.”

  “What do you mean?”

  He looked into her understanding eyes and thanked God she hadn’t left before he’d straightened himself out. He still wasn’t sure she would forgive him. “I took my leftover anger at Sandra out on you. It was wrong. You don’t deserve that.” He shook his head. “You know, I thought you were this quiet, conservative, agreeable woman. I was wrong about that, too. You’ve turned my world upside down, Amanda.” He felt his gut knot with emotion. “I’m sorry, and I know an apology isn’t always enough.”

  “It is with me,” she whispered. “I just want you to be happy, Jack.”

  He closed his eyes, a sliver of relief sneaking in, although he knew all too well that she wasn’t his yet. The last couple of days had turned him around, and everything was so much clearer to him. The time for hiding was done. “You keep teaching me things about myself I didn’t know. This won’t happen again,” he promised. “I understand how important you are to me, and I want to make sure you know. I want you to know that—”

  Lilly knocked on the car door window. She bounced up and down with excitement. “Hurry up, Daddy! Everybody’s waiting!”

  Tom, Jack reluctantly nodded. “We’ll talk more later,” he promised and kissed her. “The princess is calling.”

  He got out of the car and circled to her side to help Amanda out of her seat. She was starting to hope again, and that made her nervous.

  With Lilly skipping along, they walked toward the garden. Lilly looked up at Jack. “Now?”

  He nodded and smiled. “Now.”

  “Happy birthday, ’Manda!” Lilly yelled at the top of her lungs.

  Blinking, Amanda felt Jack steer her around the corner to a group of people.

  “Happy birthday, Amanda!”

  The chorus stunned her. She caught a glimpse of her brother and sisters and Carol. Kate Fortune and other members of Jack’s family rounded out the group. Overwhelmed, she could only gape.

  “I was ’fraid the secret was gonna pop out, so Daddy told me to cover my mouth every time it wanted to pop out,” Lilly said, pulling on Amanda’s dress. “We’re gonna have cake and ice cream.”

  “When did you do this?” she asked Jack.

  “Two weeks ago,” he told her, “I did some serious research on Amanda Corbain.”

  “Did you think about canceling when we—”

  He put his fingers over her mouth and shook his head. “Never. I had to face some of my own demons, but I never wanted to lose you.”

  Her heart contracted. She had a dozen more questions for him, but her sisters rushed forward to hug her. The next few moments were a blur of hugs and sweet wishes. In the midst of it, Amanda was bowled over to learn that Jack had flown her brother and sisters to Minneapolis on the Fortune company jet and had wrangled information about her out of her siblings and Carol.

  Marie gently but firmly urged everyone to the tables for a light luncheon. Amanda was certain the crêpes were delicious, but her taste buds must have been on strike due to shock. Her head was spinning from his apology. She’d almost given up. She couldn’t believe Jack had arranged all this. No one
had ever done anything like this for her before. It was the persistently compelling look in his eyes, however, that made every other beat of her heart stop.

  When champagne was delivered with the cake, Jack stood and lifted his glass. “To Amanda, everyone here knows how special you are and all you do to make our lives better. I thank my lucky stars for the day you were born. Knowing you reminds me of the man I want to be. Happy birthday, sweetheart” He met her gaze directly. “I love you.”

  Distantly she heard the guests applaud, but for Amanda it was too many dreams coming true at once. She’d been swinging between doubt and despair too long. Her heart swelled in her chest. Amanda couldn’t stop the tears sliding down her cheeks. Jack put his arms around her, and she sobbed.

  “Sweetheart, what’s wrong?” he asked, his voice full of concern.

  “It’s too much,” she said. “Too much at once. Waffles would have been enough.”

  Jack looked at her in confusion. “Waffles?”

  She nodded, sniffing. “Your apology, the party, and—” Her voice stopped. “You love me,” she whispered. “Do you really love me?”

  “More than you’ll ever know,” he said solemnly. “You saved my heart. You saved my life.”

  Epilogue

  Three weeks later

  Jack hadn’t gained a reputation for being a great closer for nothing. He made it clear that while Amanda might have thought he was her big Oh-no, he was going to become her big Oh-yes. As soon as Amanda agreed to his marriage proposal, he told her he wanted her next words to be “I do.”

  That was why Amanda was currently ensconced on the balcony of a private villa and thanking her lucky star. It was also why she was wearing a negligee and a gold wedding band. She pinched herself, remembering that momentous day when he had given her his heart. Since then, their trust for each other had grown with each passing moment. She had thought she couldn’t love him more, but she’d been wrong. She had thought she knew everything about Jack, but he continued to give her new reasons to fall more deeply for him. Letting go of his hurt had truly freed him to love again.