0373659288 (R) Read online

  Sam nodded. “Can we do it now?”

  “As soon as Adelaide wakes up from her nap and we eat lunch,” she said, pleased if this would provide him a little relief from his grief.

  “I can wake her up now,” he said, standing.

  Sara laughed. “There’s no need to do that. Let’s get the photo of your mother from your dresser so we’ll be ready when it’s time to go.”

  Sam darted for his room and returned in less than a minute, tightly clutching the photo of his mother. “I’m ready,” he said.

  “Soon,” she told him. “We’ll leave soon.”

  As it turned out, Adelaide awakened early, so Sara fed the children their lunches, and then they took off in search of a local office supply shop. She found one easily enough and gave instructions on resizing the photograph. She and Sam chose a small photo frame and since they were already downtown, she took them for gelato.

  It took far more coordination than she’d anticipated to prevent Sam from spilling his cup of gelato at the same time she tried to respond to Adelaide’s impatient squawks for more. “Tilt your cup up just a bit, Sam,” she said, then turned to Adelaide. “Just a second, our queen,” she said and pushed the cold confection into the baby’s mouth.

  “Well, what do we have here,” a familiar voice said from behind her. Sara whipped around with Adelaide in her arms and stared into her sister’s eyes. “Tab—”

  “Jane,” her sister corrected and Sara immediately embraced her with Adelaide squirming between them.

  “What a treat to get to see you,” Sara said. “I’ve called a few times.”

  Tabitha’s gaze slid away. “I know. I’ve been busy at the restaurant and a little sad due to the season.”

  “I know what you mean,” Sara said. “Alexander...”

  Tabitha nodded. “Yes and I’m growing very weary of—” She broke off and lowered her voice. “All the hiding.”

  “I feel the same way, but we’ve got to try to hold on longer. I hope things will change soon.”

  “I wish I shared your hope.”

  Sara studied her sister and noticed shadows beneath her eyes. Her face appeared thinner. “Are you sure you’re okay? You look a little off.”

  “Well, thank you very much,” Tabitha mocked. “Are you sure it’s not the blue streaks in my hair?”

  Sara blinked. “I was so focused on your face I didn’t notice them.”

  Adelaide began to kick impatiently. She pointed at the cup of gelato Tabitha held.

  Tabitha smiled. “A girl after my own heart. Never be afraid to ask for what you want,” she said to Adelaide.

  Sara picked up the cup from the table and offered the baby a spoonful of the melting gelato. “Jane,” she said before clearing her throat. Sara didn’t think she’d ever get used to calling her sister by that name. “Please meet Sam and Adelaide.”

  Tabitha ruffled Adelaide’s curls then knelt down to Sam’s level. “It’s my pleasure to meet you, Sam. Is that your favorite gelato I see on your face?” she asked. She pulled out a napkin to dab at his chin.

  He nodded, staring at Jane. “You look like Miss Sara,” he said. “With blue hair.”

  Tabitha chuckled. “Aren’t you the observant one?” she said as she stood. “I can see you have your hands full with these two,” she said to Sara. “I’ll let you get back to your little darlings.”

  Reluctant to see her sister leave, Sara stepped toward her. “Promise me you’ll return my next call.”

  “All right, all right,” her sister said. “I’ve missed you. I’ve just been moping and didn’t want to spread my gloom to you.”

  “We’ve only got each other right now,” she whispered.

  “And even that’s a bit tricky at the moment,” her sister said, twisting her mouth in a frown.

  “Are you sure there’s nothing else wrong?” Sara asked. Her instincts about her sister were sounding an alarm. “What about your Greek friend?”

  Tabitha’s gaze slid downward again. “He was just for fun. Easy come, easy go. I really should leave. Ta-ta for now.” She brushed a kiss on Sara’s cheek, then she quickly walked out of the shop.

  Sara stared after her. She felt Sam tug on her pants leg. Glancing down, she saw that his cheeks and chin were covered with the remainder of his chocolate gelato. He looked as if he’d tried to press his entire face into the small bowl to get every last bite. “Oh, dear,” she said, reaching for a napkin to wipe his face. “You even got it on your nose,” she said, smiling. “I suppose you didn’t like it very much at all.”

  “I want some more,” he said with far more enthusiasm than he usually exhibited.

  “Another time.” She gave Adelaide two more bites. Adelaide reached for the spoon, but Sara successfully dodged her. “All done,” she said and tossed their cups and napkins into the trash. “Let’s go pick up your mother’s picture so we can hang it on the tree.”

  Sam walked alongside her, glancing up at her. “That girl sounded like you,” he said. “She talks like you do.”

  “She does?” Sara said. “How interesting that you would notice. You must have a very good ear. You clearly have an aptitude for music,” she said, changing the subject. She put Adelaide into her car seat, then helped Sam into his.

  “And she looks like you ’cept with blue hair,” he said.

  Sara looked at him and chuckled in frustration. She would have sworn that Sam had paid very little attention to her. Perhaps she’d underestimated him. She’d clearly also underestimated how much she and her sister resembled each other if a four-year-old could spot it.

  After picking up the photo, she drove back to the cottage, changed Adelaide and put her down for a nap. She found Sam staring at the photo of his mother when she returned to the den. The longing on his face stabbed at her.

  He must have sensed her presence because he looked up at her and stood. “Can we put her on the tree like you said? So she can be our Christmas angel?”

  “Of course we can,” she said. “Where would you like to put her?”

  “Right there,” he said pointing just above the middle of the tree.

  “Then let me get a chair. I’ll hold the chair steady while you hang the ornament.” She pulled a chair beside the tree, lifted Sam onto the chair and held on to him to make sure he didn’t fall.

  Biting his lip in concentration, Sam leaned forward and carefully hung the ornament.

  “Perfect,” she said, returning him to the floor.

  Sam gave a nod of satisfaction. “I’ll show Daddy when he gets home.”

  “I’m sure he’ll be very proud of you,” she said, hoping she’d finally helped Sam a little with his grieving process.

  * * *

  Gavin pulled into the driveway and sighed. Long day. Complications with the project. The next few days would be jam-packed with him trying to keep everything on schedule. Stefan, the ruling prince of Chantaine, was a stickler for remaining on schedule. Gavin couldn’t help admiring the man for wanting the best for his country, but he might just as well stay at the office overnight for all the hours it would take to fulfill Stefan’s expectations.

  On the bright side, he hoped he’d be too tired to think about how much he wanted his children’s nanny in his bed. He shook his head at himself, still surprised at the force of his desire. He’d thought the deadness inside him would last forever. A part of him felt the sting of guilt. What was wrong with him? He should still be grieving.

  And he was, but he’d been grieving for years over the distance between him and Lauren, his late wife. He’d been so determined to make it work between them. There’d had to be a way. He would find a way, he’d told Lauren and himself over and over.

  Shaking off the heaviness of his thoughts, he walked inside the house and inhaled the scent of spaghetti sauce wafting from the kitchen. He barely made it through the door when Sam ran straight toward him.

  “Daddy! Daddy!”

  Pleased by Sam’s display of enthusiasm, Gavin dropped his hard-
shell computer case onto the floor and caught his son up into his arms. “Whoa there,” Gavin said. “Where’s the fire?”

  Sam frowned in confusion. “Fire?”

  Gavin shook his head. “What’s got you so excited?”

  “Miss Sara and I made an angel for the Christmas tree. Come see,” he said, wiggling to be set free.

  Gavin set him down on the floor and allowed himself to be led to the den where the awful white tree stood. “Where’s the angel?” he asked. Then he saw the photo of Sam’s mother hanging on the tree limb.

  “Mommy can be our Christmas angel. This way, she can look over us and she won’t miss Christmas,” Sam said.

  Sam’s earnestness stabbed him straight in his heart. If only there’d been some way to prevent Lauren’s accident. She would be with the kids for Christmas. She might not have been in love with him anymore, but she’d loved those kids. He’d often wondered what he could have done to see the light of love return to her eyes.

  Moving to North Dakota had been hard on her. It was almost as if the snow had turned her heart to ice when it came to Gavin. He’d put in for a transfer with his company, but it just hadn’t happened soon enough.

  “Do you like it, Daddy?” Sam asked.

  “You did a great job.” He ruffled Sam’s soft hair. “Your mom would be proud of you.”

  “That’s what Miss Sara said about you,” Sam said. “That you’d be proud of me.”

  “And I am,” he said.

  Sara entered the room carrying Adelaide on her hip. She looked from Sam to Gavin.

  “I showed Daddy that Mommy is our Christmas angel,” Sam said.

  He felt Sara searching his face for his reaction, but Gavin was feeling too many things. Most of them painful. “I’ll read to Adelaide and Sam after dinner, then I need to do some work at home tonight. There have been a few complications in the project.”

  “Okay. I’ve heated up the spaghetti sauce the housekeeper prepared. We can eat anytime.”

  “Sounds good. Let’s clean up, Sam.” He then walked down the hall with his son.

  * * *

  Sara looked after Gavin as he went down the hall, feeling a strange mixture of emotions. Good. He was going to be busy working, so he wouldn’t have time to seduce her. That was exactly what she wanted. Right?

  Adelaide fussed and Sara jiggled her as she returned to the kitchen to put her in her infant seat so Sara could serve the meal. Playing peek-a-boo every other minute, Sara got the meal on the table just before Sam and Gavin appeared.

  Sam and Gavin devoured the meal while Sara fed Adelaide. Gavin cleaned up the dishes and Sam took a bath while Sara rushed to bathe Adelaide. Sara stayed just outside the den while Gavin read three books to the children. Adelaide squirmed and squawked through all three books.

  After the stories, Gavin picked up Adelaide and urged Sam down the hallway. He handed Adelaide to her. “Do you know what’s wrong with her?”

  “I think she’s teething. I’ll get a cold cloth for her,” she said, taking the baby.

  “I’ll put Sam to bed and check on her later,” he said.

  “That will work. I’ll keep an ear out for her, too,” she said.

  Gavin walked away and Sara felt the distance growing between them. It was what she wanted, she told herself. She needed the distance to stay on track.

  It took an hour before Adelaide settled down, and then Sara took a quick shower and collapsed on her bed. She didn’t even try to read or listen to music. The day had been exhausting. Her mind spun with thoughts about Gavin. She wanted him. She didn’t want to want him. This was for the best. If that was true, then why did she suddenly feel so empty?

  Sara rolled over several times and sighed, then adjusted her covers. Staring into the darkness, she finally fell asleep over thirty minutes later. A sound broke through her slumber and she blinked. Adelaide’s cry vibrated throughout the cottage. Sara quickly scrambled from her bed to get the baby. Bleary-eyed, she ran into Gavin just outside Adelaide’s door.

  She instinctively clutched at him to keep from falling. His warm skin was bare and she could feel his muscles tense at her touch. His hands closed around her arms and his chest pressed against hers. Her heart pounded in her chest when she realized that if she weren’t wearing her nightgown, there would be nothing between them. Just skin on skin. For one moment out of time, she craved that more than anything.

  Gavin must have come to his senses first, still holding her arms yet pulling back. “Are you all right?” he asked in a whisper with a sexy edge of roughness.

  Sara swallowed over her suddenly tight throat and nodded. “Yes. I’m sorry. I didn’t see you in the dark.”

  “It’s okay,” he said, removing his hands. “I need to check on Adelaide.”

  “Of course,” Sara said. “I will, too.”

  As soon as she entered the room, Sara could see that Adelaide was sitting in her crib with her fingers stuffed in her mouth, wailing at the top of her lungs. “Oh, poor thing. It’s her gums.”

  Gavin scooped up his baby daughter and murmured low, comforting words to her. “Hey, sweetie, it’s okay. We’ll take care of you. We’ll make you feel better.” He glanced toward Sara. “A plan?”

  “I have a washcloth ready in the freezer,” she said and extended her arms. “I can take her so you can sleep.”

  Gavin met her gaze. “You need sleep, too, don’t you?”

  “I can nap when the children do,” she said. “You can’t.”

  He gave a slow nod. “Are you sure?”

  “I’ll let you know when I’m not sure,” she said, and she took Adelaide into her arms. The baby gave another pitiful moan. “Go to bed,” she urged. “You need your rest. You said you’re going to be busy for the next few days.” She jiggled Adelaide as the baby fussed.

  Gavin kissed his baby on her forehead. “Let me know if you need help.”

  “Of course,” Sara said, but she wouldn’t dream of it. She and Adelaide were headed for that washcloth in the freezer. She planned to replace that one with another so it would be ready when they needed a fresh one.

  Sara let Adelaide rest against her chest as she munched on the cold washcloth. She fell asleep then awakened to a wet sensation on her upper chest. The dampness was a result of the combination of the washcloth and Adelaide’s drool.

  Sara made a secret grimace then carefully stood. She went to the sink and rinsed out the washcloth and exchanged her cloth with the frozen one. Walking down the hall, she went to the nursery and carefully set Adelaide into her crib. The baby wiggled a little, but seemed to settle down. Sara waited, poised with the cold washcloth, but Adelaide slept.

  Seizing the moment, Sara went to her bed and fell asleep as soon as her head hit the pillow. Morning came way too early, but she couldn’t slack off. Sam was due at preschool and she would need to feed both children right away. Promising herself a shower later in the day, she pulled her hair into a knot at the base of her nape, stuck some hair pins in it, washed her face and brushed her teeth, then pulled on some clothes.

  Heading for Adelaide’s room since she heard the baby crying, she stopped as Gavin walked out of the nursery with the baby in his arms. Already dressed for work, he allowed Adelaide to gnaw on his finger, wincing when she bit down.

  Sympathy shot through Sara. “Baby teeth are sharp,” she said, commiserating.

  “A lot like puppies and kittens,” he said. “I wish I could stay and help with her, but I’m slammed.”

  “That’s why I’m here,” she said, reaching for Adelaide. “We’ll be fine.”

  “Don’t hold dinner for me tonight. I’ll probably be late,” he said.

  Sara nodded. “The housekeeper is supposed to come this afternoon. I’m sure she’ll bring some food, too. I’ll just set some aside for you in the refrigerator. Good luck with the project.”

  He met her gaze for several seconds, then looked away. “Call me if there’s an emergency. Perhaps we should ask the sitter who took care of the
kids that night if she can come and give you some relief.”

  “I can handle it. Saturday is my day off, remember?” she said.

  “That’s right,” he said. “Good luck with the teeth.”

  He pressed a kiss on Adelaide’s head and ruffled Sam’s hair as the boy wandered out of his room. “I’ll see you tonight, bud. Be good for Miss Sara.”

  Sara watched him leave until Adelaide began to fuss.

  “I don’t wanna go to school today,” Sam said.

  “You only have a few more days of school before you get three weeks off for Christmas break. Besides, I bet you’re going to be doing lots of fun holiday activities and might even get some special holiday treats.”

  “Treats?” he said, his brown eyes lighting with interest.

  “Yes,” she said. “Who knows? You may even find a special treat with your snack today.”

  “I get cheese or fruit for my snack. I never get treats,” he said.

  “Well, maybe you will today,” she said, deciding to pack a small piece of chocolate with Sam’s snack. She didn’t want to bribe him to go to school, but she wanted him to have a positive association. If a little piece of candy helped, then she was all for it.

  The rest of the day passed in a blur of activity. Adelaide fussed off and on while Sara dragged her around to run a few errands. When she picked up Sam, she learned he’d not only eaten the chocolate she’d packed for him, he’d also consumed three cookies. His sugar high made him too hyper to take a nap at his regular time, but he finally settled down.

  Sara rested on the den sofa, but never quite fell asleep. The naps extended longer than she expected and she hesitated to wake the children. More than ever, she now understood the advice to never wake sleeping babies.

  Still, she grew concerned when thirty extra minutes had passed, so she tiptoed down the hall and noticed Sam’s door was wide open and Sam was not in his bed. She walked farther down the hall and saw the nursery door open. Sara heard low sounds of laughter and delight.

  Well, it couldn’t be too bad if no one was screaming. Right?

  Sara pushed open the door to the sight of Sam coloring Adelaide’s face with a green marker.