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  “This may only be a break,” Binnie said. “But she seems happy at the moment.”

  Adelaide beamed at Sara. “I think you’re right.”

  “Now that you’re satisfied that your babies are good and healthy, can you take a rest?”

  They’re not my babies, she thought, but deep inside her, that didn’t ring true. “I’m not sure I could ever be totally satisfied about their health and well-being. However, with you in charge, that’s as close as I’ll get. Again, I need to know that you’ll call me immediately for anything.”

  “Of course we will. But please, do rest. You’re well overdue.”

  Sara returned to her room and walked around her suite. She was so restless she didn’t know what to do with herself. Glancing at the clock, she decided to try for a visit with her sister. She called several times, but Tabitha didn’t pick up, so she decided to venture downtown to try to see her.

  Climbing the steps to her sister’s apartment, Sara knocked on the door, half hoping she wouldn’t encounter her Greek Adonis boyfriend.

  Sara knocked again and Tabitha finally opened the door, her face pale and her eyes underscored with purple shadows.

  Sara gasped. “Are you ill? You look terrible.”

  “Perhaps,” Tabitha said. “Thank you for the compliments.”

  Sara frowned in concern. “I’m not joking. Are you okay?”

  “Most days I am,” Tabitha said. “I’m just having a bad day.”

  “Have you seen a doctor?” Sara asked.

  “For what?” Tabitha asked. “Feeling crappy every now and then?”

  “Maybe I should take off some time to take care of you,” Sara said.

  Tabitha lifted a dark eyebrow. “I’m betting I would be more difficult than the children. Besides, don’t you need a break after that fire? I was horrified when you called and told me about it.”

  “I’m okay. It wasn’t fun, but everyone’s okay. That’s what’s important. But even though you may be a tiny bit difficult, that doesn’t mean I wouldn’t want to take care of you if you needed me. Do you mind if I make some tea?”

  “Go right ahead. There’s hot water in the kettle. And, of course, you would take care of me. You’re the Joan of Arc in our family. You don’t have to put yourself last and be a martyr all the time.”

  “After going through two fires, I don’t want to be associated with someone who was burned at the stake,” Sara said, walking to the small galley kitchen and fixing her cup of tea. “I’m starting to understand your impatience to experience life.”

  Tabitha followed her and lifted her eyebrows. “Are you having feelings for the baby daddy?”

  Sara held her breath.

  “Oh, that silence told me everything. I say go for it. You’ve held back all of your life. This is the time to let it go. But use a condom.”

  “Tabitha,” Sara said in a reproachful voice.

  Tabitha lifted her hands. “I offer wisdom when I can. Use a condom.”

  Sara frowned. “I’m still worried about you. Let me fix you a cup of tea.”

  “I’ve already had mine. I’m sure this is just a gastrointestinal virus. Very common in the food-service industry. Remember I’m exposed to the public all the time,” Tabitha said.

  “But you don’t handle food,” Sara said and took a sip from her cup.

  “Yes, I do,” Tabitha said. “I deliver food and occasionally clean tables. So I’m at risk.”

  “I’d like you to see a doctor,” Sara said.

  Tabitha shrugged. “In a week. I think this will pass. I’d rather hear news about Alexander.”

  Sara’s heart tightened. “I can’t stop thinking about Alexander either. I’m going to press Ericka soon.”

  “That’s unusual coming from you. You’ve been the one telling me to hold on and be patient,” Tabitha said. “I wouldn’t have expected it of you.”

  “It’s been a year. We need some news,” Sara said, setting her cup on the counter. “If I can’t work things out with Ericka, I’ll go to Stefan and anyone and everyone else.”

  Tabitha met her gaze, then looked away. “You’re braver than I am.”

  “I’m not sure about that,” Sara said. “I may just be more tired of waiting. My patience has been consumed.”

  “That’s rare coming from you,” Tabitha said.

  “Maybe I’m learning from you,” Sara said.

  Tabitha shook her head and gave a rough chuckle. “I hope not. Trust me. You’re the better of the two of us. Don’t take on my qualities.”

  “I think that deed is done,” Sara said. “I’m starting to think there may be some benefit to being impatient.”

  Chapter Nine

  Sara returned to the palace and checked on the children. Sam was happily playing with the children of Prince Stefan and Eve, and Adelaide was taking a nap. Sara had been so busy the past few weeks that she barely knew what to do with herself now that the children were temporarily under another nanny’s care.

  Returning to her room, she saw a note had been left on her bedside table. Scanning the note from Princess Ericka, she smiled at how conscientious and caring the princess was. The cottage would be emptied within the next day so that as much clothing as possible could be aired out from the smoke and cleaned if necessary. Ericka planned to have another residence ready for Gavin and the children in less than a week, and she would make sure the white Christmas tree would be waiting when the family arrived. In the meantime, she hoped Ericka would take a well-earned rest and enjoy the use of a piano tucked away in a back room on the third floor. Day or night, Ericka said. It was a soundproof room.

  Sara’s heart melted at Ericka’s sweet attentiveness. All of the Devereaux family had been wonderful to her and Tabitha. She closed her eyes. The trouble was that they had no news from Alex.

  Sinking onto her bed, she sighed. She needed to do something soon. Images of Alex flashed through her mind. The night of that fire, he’d gathered her tightly against him after she’d been rescued with the help of a guard. She hadn’t felt the terrible burn on her palms until she’d leaned against him.

  She felt the clock ticking. How long should she wait? Alex had probably wondered how long he would be forced to wait before he was allowed to reenter the palace that had been full of the flames and fires keeping Sara captive. Waiting didn’t feel right. She started thinking about how to approach Princess Ericka and Prince Stefan if it became necessary. For Sara, it was a matter of days, not weeks, at this point.

  Sara decided to get some ideas for the children’s Christmas gifts online. She would consult with Gavin, but they needed to make plans. She visited the children for dinner and fed Adelaide. Thank goodness, her tooth really had come through. She was the happiest baby ever. Sara knew, however, that another bout of sore gums was in the future. She just hoped it wasn’t as bad as the last one.

  She took a walk around the palace twice, then returned to her room, took a shower and ate the meal that appeared in her suite. She went to bed and tried to sleep. Tossing and turning, counting down from two hundred, she still couldn’t fall asleep. Scowling, Sara arose from her bed and pulled on a robe. Ericka had encouraged Sara to play the piano anytime, so Sara decided to take her up on the offer. She prayed she wouldn’t awaken anyone.

  Taking the stairs down to the third floor, she wandered through the halls and finally found the soundproof room with the piano. Sara felt a sensation of relief at the sight of it as she closed the door behind her and approached the instrument.

  Sliding onto the bench, she lifted her fingers to the keys and tested the sound and sensation. It was better tuned than the piano she’d played at the cottage, and she began to play a piece by Bach. The exercise and sound soothed her, so she segued into another by Mozart. She followed with Beethoven, then performed a tune from a musical. She took a quick breath then heard the sound of applause from behind her.

  She whipped around to find Gavin sitting in a chair clapping his hands.

  “What—”r />
  “I got the same note from Princess Ericka,” he said. “I couldn’t find you in your suite, so I came looking for you. I didn’t expect to hear a professional concert.”

  “You flatter me,” she said because she knew she was a bit out of practice.

  “I don’t,” Gavin said, rising from his chair and walking toward her. “You haven’t been completely honest with me.”

  Sara’s stomach clenched.

  “I wish you weren’t so afraid,” he said. “I wish you felt you could trust me, but I know it can be hard to trust.”

  Sara sighed. “It won’t be this way forever,” she whispered.

  She felt the connection between them deepen as Gavin squeezed her shoulder. Then he touched her face. “You are so beautiful, inside and out.”

  Sara closed her eyes. “You are very kind.” She smiled. She opened her eyes and the expression on Gavin’s face captured every cell of her.

  He lowered his mouth to hers, taking her in a kiss that grabbed at every part of her. Sara felt need and want in a way she’d never experienced before. He pulled her up from the bench of the piano.

  Gavin slid his hands over her shoulders, then down her arms. “Stop me soon,” he said against her mouth. “I could have lost you in that fire. I haven’t been able to stop thinking about that. I want to make love to you.”

  Sara’s heart skipped. She clung to him as she considered what he was asking of her. Her heart and her body couldn’t deny her need and want, but her mind... Her mind told her to wait... Take some time...don’t rush...

  But there was something inside her that wouldn’t wait. Life was short.

  She slid her hands over his jaw and drew him into a deep kiss. He met her stroke for stroke and his need kindled hers. She pulled back.

  “No stopping,” she said breathlessly.

  Gavin scooped her up from the piano bench and carried her from the room down the stairs to his suite. He set her on his bed and followed her down. “I feel like I’ve been waiting for you forever,” he said.

  Still a little nervous, she wrapped her hands around his neck and drowned herself in his delicious kiss. She felt his hand caress her body. He kissed her jaw, neck, throat. Gavin touched her breasts and pushed away her robe and nightgown. He slid his lips down her throat to her breasts.

  Sara arched against him, wanting more. Her body was on fire. In just a moment, he’d touched off her pleasure points.

  “Oh, Sara,” he said. “You feel so good.”

  He slid his hand between her legs and continued to kiss her deeply.

  Sara wriggled beneath him, sliding her hands over his back and backside. The intimacy caught her off guard, but she had to go further. She had to rub against him. She had to feel him. Inside and out. Sara slid her fingers through his hair.

  She felt him rubbing himself against her. Sara was consumed with the need to have him inside her.

  “I want you,” she whispered, wriggling against him.

  “Give me a second,” he said as he pulled on protection. Then he thrust inside her.

  Sara’s eyes opened in surprise. Her body froze. He was too big. She was too tight.

  Gavin stared at her, huffing and puffing. “You’re a virgin. Why didn’t you tell me?” he asked.

  “I didn’t think it would matter,” she managed and made an experimental slide. “That’s better,” she said.

  Gavin clenched his teeth. “You think so? Stop moving or—”

  Sara wriggled again. “Ooh, that feels good.”

  “Stop,” Gavin said.

  But she couldn’t help moving. Suddenly he felt so good inside her.

  She lifted her hips and Gavin thrust several times. Two moments later, it was all over.

  For him.

  * * *

  Gavin pulled her closer to him. Her body continued to pulse in all her pleasure points. Dissatisfaction was not enough of a description for what she felt. She felt annoyance, unanswered need.

  Sara sighed. If this was sex, she didn’t want any more of it.

  “Sorry,” Gavin said. “I didn’t take care of you. You felt so good. I couldn’t wait. It has been so long for me.”

  Sara took a breath and tried to relax. It didn’t quite work, but Gavin’s words helped soothe her overly aroused self.

  “I can take care of you,” he said as he lowered his mouth to hers. He also lowered his hand between her legs and found her where she was swollen and needy.

  “You are sweeter than honey,” he told her as he stroked her.

  Sara felt a tightening sensation deep and low inside her.

  “So good,” he muttered, continuing to touch her and kiss her deeply at the same time.

  Sara felt herself wriggle with the warring sensations of pleasure and frustration.

  “Come on,” he urged. “Let go.” His mouth moved down her body to kiss her and consume her. “I can’t get enough of you.”

  The sensation of his fingers and mouth on her sent her over the edge. She clung to his shoulders, crying. “Gavin.”

  Seconds later, he thrust inside her again and one, two, three strokes later, they both went over the edge.

  Sara rested her head against Gavin’s chest. The rhythm of his heartbeat and his arms wrapped around her made her feel safer than she could remember. She had been as close to him as a woman could get, and yet she wanted to be so much closer. She wanted to be rid of the secrets between them. She wanted to be honest with him about who she really was. But she knew she couldn’t.

  Her brief moment of contentment began to fade and she exhaled on a long breath.

  “I’m not looking at your face, but I can feel your brain running a hundred miles an hour. And that sigh—I’d like to believe it was a sigh of pleasure, but I have a feeling it’s not. What’s bothering you?”

  Sara sighed again and looked up at Gavin. “Nothing I can talk about. I’m sorry. I wish I could, but I really can’t. It’s so frustrating for me, especially now...after we have been so close.”

  “Do you think you can’t trust me?” he asked, his dark brows furrowed in concern.

  She reached up to smooth his brow. “It’s not that. I believe in you. I’ve seen what a good father you are. You’re a good man.”

  He pulled her hand to his mouth and kissed it. “That’s good to know.”

  Her heart dipped at his intense expression. “I know it’s nearly impossible to understand, but I just really cannot discuss it. There’s too much at risk.”

  “Hmm,” he said. “That sounds serious. Are you a secret spy?” he asked with a hint of humor in his eyes.

  She shook her head and chuckled. “No, and I’d be a lousy one if I tried to be. That’s for sure.”

  “Your emotions show on your face,” he said.

  “Not everyone has been able to read me so well. You’re different in that way. You’re different in a lot of ways.”

  Gavin pulled her upward as he lowered his mouth to hers in a gentle, soulful kiss. Pleasure flowed through her, along with a sweetness so deep and so wide it nearly brought her to tears.

  Sara almost fell asleep in Gavin’s arms, but she couldn’t help thinking that if one of the children should need her or him, it would be awkward. Another secret, she thought as she slid out of bed and dressed herself.

  “Where are you going?”

  “Back to my room,” she said, feeling him study her face. “I think it would be best not to publicize our relationship. I think it would be confusing for the children, and I don’t want the gossip for either you or me.”

  He rose from the bed, heedless of his glorious nakedness. She kept her gaze on his chin. Otherwise she would have been entirely distracted. He slid his hand under her jaw and gently lifted her chin to look into her eyes.

  “Ashamed?”

  Sara blinked in surprise. “No,” she said, shaking her head. “Not at all. I just don’t want to confuse the children. And I want what’s between you and me to stay that way. At least for now.”

&nb
sp; “Okay.” He brushed a kiss on her forehead. “I’ll walk you to your room,” he said.

  “Not dressed like that,” she retorted.

  He chuckled. “You mean undressed,” he said.

  She felt her cheeks heat and chastised herself. She was a grown woman. She might be inexperienced, but she wasn’t completely naive. “You know what I mean. I’ll see you in the morning,” she said. Then she realized that technically it was already morning. “I mean later.” She cleared her throat, then walked to the door.

  She put her hand on the doorknob.

  “Sara,” Gavin said.

  Her heart pounded in her throat. She needed to get away from him to regain some of her sanity. He made her feel all fuzzy and out of sorts. “Yes,” she said.

  “Sweet dreams,” he said in a sexy voice that reminded her of the intimacy they’d just shared.

  She took a quick breath. “Same to you.” She quickly strode to her suite next door. Sliding out of her robe, she got into bed and stared up at the ceiling, her body tense and her eyes wide open. Her heart thumped with a combination of exhilaration and disbelief. What had she done?

  * * *

  Gavin pulled on a pair of pajama bottoms and paced around the suite. He poured a glass of water and downed it in six gulps. He’d known his desire for Sara was powerful, but the strength of his protectiveness for her still surprised him. He could only imagine how terrified she must have felt when the smoke alarm had gone off in the cottage. Yet she hadn’t frozen. She’d gotten the children out, called emergency services and contacted the palace. And she’d kept Adelaide and Sam safe.

  There were times when he wondered if she was all that strong, but then he saw how she got up night after night with Adelaide when the baby was teething. She persisted with Sam, just nudging him, encouraging him out of his comfort zone.

  When she’d appeared on his doorstep, he’d dismissed her as too young for the job and also too young for him. But she’d shown him different sides of herself. She reminded him of a deep, deep lake. Sara was the definition of the expression “still waters run deep.” There was much more to her than met the eye. There was much more than he knew now even after making love to her tonight. He was impatient to know all of her. Her secrecy frustrated him, but he suspected, no, he knew there was nothing devious in her secrecy. She seemed far too tortured about it. He wondered about her brother and if there was any way he could help find him. Would that bring her some peace? Would that help Sara understand that she could trust him? And why was it so important that he convince her? It just felt more important than ever. Especially after he and Lauren had failed.