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Even though Gavin knew she was in the next room, he wanted her with him. Her presence soothed something wicked inside him. She radiated hope even though he sensed she struggled with hope herself at times.
Gavin couldn’t remember feeling so close to a woman, yet wanting to feel even closer.
* * *
Sara finally fell asleep and awakened later than usual. Dragging herself out of bed, she took a shower then decided she should spend some time with her children. Well, Gavin’s children. It was complicated.
Despite the fill-in nanny’s protests, Sara insisted on taking the children for a walk. She rubbed the baby’s gums, then she asked Sam what had been his favorite recent activity.
“The blocks in the nursery. But where’s the white tree?” he asked.
“I thought you didn’t like the white tree,” she said as they walked on a sidewalk around the palace.
“I just want it to be okay,” he said.
Sara squeezed his shoulder quickly then moved her hand away. “It’s fine. We may see it very soon.”
Sam glanced up at her. “When?”
“In a few days,” she said.
“Where?” he asked.
“Well, I hear we may be moving into a new house,” she said.
“One that won’t catch on fire?” Sam asked.
Sara grimaced. “Definitely. Good things are happening.”
“When is Daddy gonna play video games with me?” he asked.
Sara’s heart dipped. “Maybe on Sunday. We’re getting ready to move to a new house, so we have to get things ready. But I think Sunday might work. That’s only three sleeps.”
Sam sighed. “That’s not too long.”
“You are so right.” Sara noticed he was a bit edgy, so she said, “Run to the corner and back. See if you can beat me there.”
Sam ran and she rushed to meet him but he won the race. “Oh, you got me.”
“You’ve got Adelaide. I’ve just got me,” Sam said, breathing hard.
Sara couldn’t resist bending down to kiss him on the top of his head. “You’re a superhero.”
Sam nodded. “I’m a frog.”
Sara laughed and hoped the palace kept the markers hidden. She would mention it to Binnie.
Later that night, she and Gavin were served dinner with the children in the nursery. Good thing, given the fact that Sam tossed crumbs from his chicken tenders on the floor and Adelaide spat strained green peas into the atmosphere.
“This is going to take a few minutes to clean up,” she said to Gavin.
“You don’t say,” Gavin as he was caught by a new green spray from Adelaide. “That’s it,” he said and lifted his daughter from the high chair. “You’re done with dinner, aren’t you?
Adelaide gurgled and gave a huge openmouthed, mostly toothless smile.
Gavin hugged her against him, despite the fact that he would get more strained peas on his shirt. “You’re my girl,” he said. “Now let’s clean you up.”
Adelaide squawked throughout the cleanup process, but calmed down when he talked quietly to her and took her on a walk.
“I want Daddy,” Sam said, anxiously looking after his father and Adelaide.
“He’ll come back,” Sara promised. “He’s just trying to give Adelaide some love. You know how much her gums hurt. But he can’t wait to spend some time with you,” she said. “ He’s been working very hard so he can have a break and be with you.”
Sam seemed to relax. “Am I s’posed to go back to school?” he asked.
She was surprised he’d asked. “Next week for three days, then you’re off.”
Sam nodded. “There’s gonna be a party with cupcakes next week.”
“Well, you wouldn’t want to miss that,” Sara said. “I bet we’ll be in the new house by then.”
“Can we have the white tree and Mommy’s Christmas angel at the new house?”
“I bet we can.” Seeing that Sam was getting restless again, she said, “Hurry. Run across the room until I say stop and then run back,” she said. “Go!”
Sam pumped his legs.
“Stop!” she called, and he immediately halted.
Sara couldn’t help smiling at his response. “Run back. Beat me to the toy box across the room.”
Sara raced with him. She targeted that toy box, but Sam arrived first.
“You’re a rock star,” Sara said breathlessly and lifted her hand for Sam to press his palm against hers. “A frog. The fastest frog in the world.”
Sam lifted his arms and roared. “I’m a frog,” he yelled.
Sara was so thrilled that Sam was expressing himself in such a powerful way. He was starting to step out of the shadow of his grief. “Roar, Sam. Give a frog roar,” she said, and Sam roared back at her.
Sara felt tears sting her eyes. He was moving forward. It had been so hard for him, but he was doing it. She wanted to hug him, but she didn’t want to force him, so she just nodded and opened her arms.
He stepped forward then back and roared again.
Not quite ready, she thought. That was okay. He was growing stronger inside himself and she couldn’t be happier.
* * *
The next night she and Gavin spent another dinner with the children. The meal was calmer than the previous evening. Since Sam hadn’t taken an afternoon nap, he was drooping throughout the meal.
Sara bathed Adelaide while Gavin bathed Sam. After the baths, the children quickly settled down.
She and Gavin left the nursery area and he captured his hand with hers. “Stay with me tonight,” he said. “This may be our last chance for a while.”
Sara’s heart clenched at the need in his eyes. She couldn’t imagine turning him down. “All right,” she said, lacing her fingers through his and meeting his gaze.
He looked down and kissed her. His effect on her was so powerful that Sara almost forgot that someone could be watching.
“Let’s take this into your suite or mine,” she managed, and he led her into his living quarters.
“I can’t stop wanting you. Can’t stop wanting to be with you,” he said as he stroked her hair.
“You’re not the only one,” she told him. “I want you, too.”
Chapter Ten
The next morning, Sara and Gavin learned that the movers would be taking their belongings from the cottage to the new house. Gavin wanted to supervise the move, so he and Sara left the children in the capable hands of the palace nanny and quickly made the drive to the cottage.
Sara and Gavin walked through each of the rooms. “Looks like most of the clothing and toys are already gone,” he mused.
“I’ve noticed that Princess Ericka is a woman of action. I should touch base with her about mattresses and upholstered furniture. Even though I know this place has been aired out, it still smells strongly of smoke,” Sara said. Since her childhood experience with fire, the smell had often made her feel nauseated. “You don’t mind if I get some fresh air, do you?”
“Not at all,” Gavin said. “You don’t need to stay in here. I just wanted to give the place a last check.”
Sara stepped outside onto the small porch, but the smell of smoke still hovered, so she walked to the lane and down the street a bit. Although she’d held herself together when she’d heard the smoke alarm, even now the whole notion that she’d walked out of two fires left her wondering if she was destined to do this again. What was that quote about trouble? It always comes in threes.
Sara shuddered at the thought. For heaven’s sake, she hoped not. If this happened again, she was going to wonder if she was cursed. Taking a deep breath, she walked down the block to clear her head.
The neighbor she’d met previously stepped out of his driveway and waved at her. “Hello,” he called. “I saw your house caught on fire. I hope everyone is well.”
She nodded in return. “We’re all fine, thank you.” She started to turn around and head back to the house, but the neighbor jogged toward her.
Sara
felt a sliver of dread. Every time she saw this man, she was afraid he was going to figure out her true identity. Now was no exception.
He approached her. “I saw the fire trucks, but I think you and the children had already left. Glad you all got out okay.”
“Thank you,” she said. “It was a frightening experience, but we’re all fine.”
“You’ll be moving back in soon, then?”
Sara shook her head. “The wiring in the house is inferior. We’ll be moving to a different house.”
“Sorry to see you go,” Mr. Trevon said.
“Thank you very much. I wish the best to you,” she said, and she began walking toward the cottage.
Mr. Trevon walked beside her. “You know, for a long time, I couldn’t put my finger on where I’d seen you before.”
“I must have an everywoman face,” she said and forced a smile.
“No. It’s not that,” he said. “I finally figured it out.”
“You look like that princess who is a concert pianist,” he said.
Sara’s heart froze. She forced herself to take tiny breaths then laughed. “A princess,” she echoed. “I’m flattered. And a concert pianist. I’m even more flattered.”
“You really look like her,” the man said. “And I heard you play the piano. You’re very talented.”
“And you’re kind and generous,” she managed, looking at him. “I’ll cherish this moment of flattery for the rest of my life.”
His face fell. “You’re not a princess?”
She forced a chuckle. “Am I dressed like a princess?”
He paused, studying her, then rubbing his hand across his face. “Well, no.”
“Exactly. I hate to disappoint you,” she said.
“You just look so much like her,” he said. “Beautiful. And you play the piano.”
Sara smiled. “You are so kind. I’ll remember this moment when I’m feeling down. Someone thought I was a princess.”
He sighed. “Maybe you could make some money impersonating her.”
Alarm flashed through her. “What an interesting possibility,” she managed, horrified. “I may consider that in the future.”
“Sara.”
Sara turned at the sound of Gavin’s voice just behind her. Her nerves tightened in fear. “I’m coming,” she said and walked toward him.
“Are you okay?” Gavin asked, looking down at her in concern.
“I’m fine,” she said. “Just needed a breath of air. Gavin, this is our neighbor Mr. Trevon,” she said.
“Pleased to meet you,” Mr. Trevon said. “I was just telling your children’s nanny how much she resembled—”
“Oh my goodness, there are the moving trucks,” she said, breaking into a sweat.
Gavin glanced toward the cottage. “You’re right. We should go,” he said. “Nice to meet you.” He took Sara’s hand and started walking back to the cottage.
He glanced down at her. “Your hand is freezing. Are you sure you’re okay? You don’t look like you’re feeling so great.”
At this point, she was more terrified by her encounter with the neighbor than anything, but she decided to put the focus on the fire. “Delayed reaction to the smell of smoke,” she said. “It came out of nowhere.”
He stopped and looked down at her. “Sorry.”
Her heart stopped, then started again. “Thank you. I’m okay.”
“Don’t go in the house again. You can give the sniff test to the new house, too,” he added.
She smiled. “I’ll do that, but I suspect everything will be smoke-free thanks to Princess Ericka. The only issue may be the white tree.”
“We’ll get rid of it,” he said.
“No,” she said, shaking her head. “Sam wants the white tree, and it’s already decorated. We might have a hard time finding another just like it.”
“I thought he hated it,” Gavin said as they waked into the driveway leading to the cottage.
“He changed his mind,” she said.
“If it smells smoky, we’ll keep the tree on the porch,” he said.
“We’ll figure it out,” she said, and she felt herself turn into a melt at his concern.
Gavin supervised the movers. After the truck pulled away, he turned to her. “Would you like to stop somewhere to grab something to eat?”
Sara blinked in surprise. The simple invitation gave her a rush of pleasure. “That would be lovely.”
“Any ideas?”
Sara nodded, remembering one unique spot where she and her sister had enjoyed a couple of meals. “There’s a wonderful creperie. They serve both entrée and dessert crepes, and also sandwiches if you don’t like crepes.”
“Let’s go,” he said, and he helped her into the car.
Moments later, they sat at a booth in the small but famous crepe shop. Sara ordered a seafood crepe, Gavin ordered a sandwich and they agreed to share the Nutella crepe topped with strawberries and cream.
“How did you know about this place?” he asked.
“It’s a local favorite,” she said. “We were lucky to be seated so quickly. It’s usually packed. Members of the royal family have even been known to come here on occasion.”
“So it gets the royal stamp of approval,” he said.
Sara smiled. “Something like that.”
“How long have you been living in Chantaine?” he asked.
“A year,” she said.
“And before?”
“I traveled a lot,” she hedged. “I was ready for a change.”
“I guess being a secret spy got to you,” he said, humor playing at his lips.
She laughed and shook her head. “Not me. On another subject—”
“I notice you change the subject a lot when I ask you about your past,” he said, opening his hand on the table in a gesture for her to put her hand in his.
Sara hesitated, but couldn’t find the will to refuse him. The trouble was he wanted more than just to hold her hand. He wanted to know her secrets. In a different situation, she would trust him. But not now.
“You can’t blame me for wanting to know more about you,” he said.
“No,” she said. “There’s just a lot I can’t talk about right now.”
He nodded, then sighed. “Okay,” he said. “About that other subject?”
Relief rushed through her. No more prodding. “Christmas gifts for the children,” she said. “Have you made your list?”
He shot her a blank look. “I haven’t even thought about it.”
“Well, someone needs to do more than think about it,” she said. “I don’t think you’ll be able to order much at this point, so the local toy shop will have to do. Your children are young, so hopefully they will be easy to please. Adelaide will be happy with a stuffed animal and an infant activity toy.”
Gavin nodded. “I can’t believe I didn’t think about this.”
“You’ve had a lot on your mind.” She squeezed his hand.
“Well, we can take care of it this afternoon,” he said with a determined expression on his face. “We’ll go shopping after we eat.”
“Today?” she echoed. “I thought we’d make a list.”
“It’s Saturday. We’ll be moving during the next few days, and I’m still trying to push through this project. No time like the present,” he said.
She couldn’t help admiring his forceful attitude. Sara fell for him a little more. She could tell Gavin was struggling as a single dad, but he was determined to do everything he could to help his children feel secure and happy. “Your children are lucky to have you as their dad,” she told him.
“Lucky?” he said in disbelief. “I forgot about Christmas gifts.”
“You love them and you’re not afraid to show it. That’s a huge gift in itself,” she said, thinking of her childhood. “Not every child has that.”
“There’s so much I want for them. I know I can’t make their world perfect.” Grief dragged at his brown eyes. “They’ve already suffered
the loss of their mother, and I can’t bring her back.”
Sara felt a familiar sense of helplessness. With each passing day, she wanted to fix things for Gavin and his family, but she knew some things couldn’t be fixed. “You’re helping them to heal. I’m seeing glimmers of joy in Sam more and more often. When he drew with a green marker on both himself and Adelaide, I couldn’t bring myself to scold him. He was acting like a normal three-year-old.”
“When did this happen?” he asked.
“Oops. I guess I forgot to tell you. Sam decided that he was a frog and Adelaide was a turtle.”
“I wish I’d seen that,” he said.
“I would imagine it could happen again. Give him free use of markers, and send him in to amuse Adelaide,” she said.
Gavin chuckled. “Bet you put the markers away.”
“Let’s just say use of the markers will now require supervision. I was just relieved the ink wasn’t waterproof,” she said.
“Sam is growing more relaxed with you,” Gavin said. “We may have to find a way to keep you around.”
Sara felt her heart dip at the expression in his eyes. She wasn’t exactly sure what he was suggesting. Keep her? For how long? She should remind him that this was a temporary assignment. She should remind herself that her relationship with all of them was temporary.
The waiter delivered their food, saving her from responding aloud. But inside, her voice was screaming warnings. Sara chose to focus on her seafood crepe and the gorgeous single dad sitting across from her. While she could.
* * *
Gavin almost couldn’t believe how happy he felt Christmas shopping for the kids with Sara. His wife had shooed him away when he’d tried to join her for the task. He disliked shopping as much as the next man, but trying to get it done in two hours brought out his competitive spirit. The shopping cart almost full, he watched Sara frowning in concentration as she studied a book.